Gothic Theatre
I, Riot
11 Months have passed since fateful september days when four youths finally came together in beautiful musical matrimony. The days have not always been harmonious, but a collective love and understanding of the transcendent nature of music has become the glue of their lives; keeping the individual band members sane and keeping them together in musical brotherhood.
They’ve been through many shows, including the first, which they anxiously agreed to play without having completed one song. They’ve competed in Battles of the Bands with over 250 bands, and if you’ve seen each show, several things are undeniable.
1) I, Riot rocks
2) Sam will get foot fungus one day
3) Andrew’s musician face rivals John Mayer and John Frusciante
4) Jake makes good use of rare mic time
5) Carter’s seizures are actually healthy
They’ve got high hopes for the future, but in order to aid you all in the here and now, we’ve compiled a brief dictionary of common i, Riot vernacular.
Nillihc: (n, adj.) Slang for sweet, tight, awesome, it also means peace, love, positivity, unity, passion, motivation, respect; to be yourself and be proud. The process of fighting for what you believe in, and not letting anyone hold you down.
Alt Fock/ Alt Runk: (adj) A description of I, Riot style of music. It is the combination of Alt, rock, and funk, however musical sounds may also be reminiscent of reggae, swing, punk, blues, and classic rock, among other genres.
Funk Button: (n) A phenomina occuring as a result of massive exposure to thick grooving bass lines and freakish funk guitar chords. The funk button is an area appearing on a person, which when pressed causes intense dancing.
Funktastic: (adj.) A description meaning funky, over the top, and tastic.
Funktastic Grizzly Bear: (n.) The alter ego of guitarist, Andrew Rogers. When in this state of mind, Rogers is said to set loins aflame with the voluminous levels of funk protruding from his guitar.
Funky British Amp Babies: (n.) Results of sound waves emitted from Rogers’ guitar amp hitting unsuspecting female fans, these babies are born from the musical seed placed in the women seen at I, Riot’s shows. Said to be born with profound knowledge of funk, these babies are destined to lead a life of musicianship. Cursed with bad dental hygiene, and an indescribable urge to speak with a British accent.
Shiggle: (v.) The action that occurs when [a] person(s) excrete their bowels and laugh profusely. While confirmed cause is unknown, some victims claim for it to derive from the spontaneous, stupid, and seemingly pointless antics of I, Riot. Derived from “for shits and giggles.”
We thank you all for all your wonderful support, without which nothing would ever have been nearly as amazing as it has been. We hope that it continues, and that we continue to tickle your minds, romance your bootys, and light your loins aflame.
